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Monday, June 11, 2007, 11:24 PM

Happi Ending?

Having a very terrible time planning the intensive music training camp proposal.. at last today is the last day of the camp.. and all had end... despite very little ppl cooperate with mi in this camp, and i felt so useless as this camp but i am still relieve and happy that i had clear one stuff.. to mi this camp was consider not quite successful, felt useless as many do not want to follow my timetable which i planned for so long.. but what can i do, it's their choice. no matter what they do, as long as all members of NYPCO are happy and that they are consistent in music i am happi ler ^^... another thing i felt so useless is that, why do i get so afraid when it is a solo part i am playing.. why?!!.. why i can't play the solo well.. after 3yrs of practise in erhu.. i still can't do well.. Looked down on myself... wasted my family's money in erhu personal lesson.. maybe just lik what my friends said, i am just plain stupid.. LOL.. thats why i played so lousy in solo... and get so nervous when playing solo.. useless... just to tell my dearest friends who read my blog post.. i am not emoing or what in this post.. this is purely just how i felt bout myself.. ^^.. felt so much better letting it out.. may not get the time to update again.. maybe? may be not...

Lonely @ 11:24 PM